Solitude Retreat

Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve written in here. Life is flying by and every day holds many stories that I’d like to tell, so I settle on telling none. One of the more significant stories from recent weeks is about solitude.

Last Friday, all of us Mission Year kids in Houston went to the Ruah Center at the Villa de Matel convent. It is a silent retreat center where people can come and interact with spiritual advisors, then pray and worship silently in the 70 acres of land the Villa maintains. From a beautiful chapel to porches lined with rocking chairs to acres of still, green woods, there were plenty of spaces in which to connect with God in silence and solitude.

People tend to have a lot of strong feelings about silence. Silence feels like a punishment. Silence feels like a waste of time. A little silence is one thing, but hours of it? When we try to be silent, we realize that “not speaking” is very, very different from a true quieting of the mind. In fact, as soon as you sit down for a time of intentional silence, you will probably be the most aware, out of all times, of all the bills you need to pay and friends you need to call and groceries you need to buy. Often, the last thing we can fit into our brains is time with God.

What the Sisters are trying to show, through the ministry of the Ruah Center, is that solitude with God is a place of healing, rest, and peace. When you come to God without running your mouth (how often are our prayers merely lists of things we think about with little heart behind them?), He can speak. He probably won’t speak when or how we would like Him to. And times of healing can be painful, because we have to open old wounds to let Jesus pour into them with healing. But silence is a sacred space for meeting God.

It seems like there was far too much taught during our silent retreat (who would have thought?) to convey in a blog post. But here are some highlights. We read about the prayer of collectedness, how we need not really be SAYING anything to God in our minds. Rather, it is enough, as a start, to come to God and fight off the voices in our head that try to steal our attention. It is enough to fight for a quiet space in your own heart, a quiet meeting with God where He can restore the spirit or do what He wills. We also read about a series of questions you can reflect on in order to “restore the well.” The main point of this is, in silence, to talk to Jesus about your joys and give thanks for them, then to talk to him about your frustrations, disappointments, and anger. Mourn your disappointments with Him. Think of ways to offer up your anger to Him. Ask him for healing. Ask for a thankful and gracious heart, despite whatever hurts you may still be processing.

I found this process very sweet. I encountered God’s presence in stillness and I encountered it in movement of the heart. I encourage you to to practice, on a daily basis, a short time of silence–perhaps 5 minutes in the morning–in which you can present yourself quietly to God. Don’t be surprised if it takes a good amount of time to start silencing your mind! Also, consider researching silent retreat centers in your area. Don’t miss out on the beautiful opportunity silence and the beauty of God’s presence presents 🙂

Here’s a picture I took as I walked onto the Villa’s grounds!